I've tweeted about this several times at this point, but it's not really getting easier to actually admit. I'm going to be staying an extra semester at college. There's just no way I can get my remaining credit hours in without killing myself in the process and paying a ton more money (since each credit hour over a certain limit is a ton of extra money at my school). I'm pretty torn up about it, although today is better than yesterday. I suspected it might happen, even mentioned it in pasting in a previous post, but I was really hoping it wouldn't come to it.
I think the biggest thing I knowing how stressed out about it my parents are too. That makes things harder to get over. And I'll admit that I'm a bit bummed about graduating in December instead of in May when I would have graduated. If I actually want to walk, I'll have to come back the following May for it, and since I have to find a job obviously, I'm not sure if that would even be possible. I know actually having a graduation ceremony is just about the least important part of getting a college degree, but it might be the second biggest thing upsetting me about this. As unimportant as it may be, I kind of feel like I'll have earned a graduation ceremony, and now I don't know if I'll get it.
Anyway, I'm trying to put it all behind me and just accept that it's happening. I have a set schedule for each of the remaining semesters, and because I was so upset, I seriously sat down and created a ten year plan last night. It's not the first time I've done that, but it was the first time in a long time, and it looks completely different now. It makes me feel much better just having that, but it was also a reminder that it's all hinging on the fact that I actually get hired after college. Not something I particularly enjoy contemplating.
At least my schedule for next semester is set now. I just have to meet with one of my advisors one more time to confirm that everything looks right, and then I'll officially register for classes next week. Rationally speaking, everything is actually going perfectly fine. Lots of other people are in my same position, so my advisors don't even see it as a big deal, although they were very aware that I probably would and acted sensitively about it. I'm sure I'll feel fine about it once I adjust and get used to the idea that that's the plan now. My biggest issues are just moving past my parents' feelings and the graduation ceremony stuff. It will all be good.