Today ended up being quite a good day. My sister came over in the afternoon. We ate lunch together, and she wound up staying for several hours. Then my school had it's first home football game tonight, and my sister stayed for that and we went together. It was fun but also pretty exhausting.
I also put off all of my work to spend the day with her, and I'm already thinking about how much of a bad idea that was. Although I don't actually think it was a bad idea. I've been driving myself into the ground just trying to get all of my school work done this semester. I needed this break, and my sister even said that to me at one point. I know it's true. I was so close to losing my mind (even if I had calmed down in comparison to when I really was losing my mind a week or so ago), and today I actually managed to focus on something else. I got really into the football game and talking to my sister. For the first time since the semester started, I actually wasn't thinking about school.
But now I have so much to do tomorrow, and it's all I can think about. So it's a lot like I'm even more stressed then I would be otherwise, but I don't know if that's true.
I don't know, basically. I'm just very stressed out, and it doesn't feel like there's a good solution to it no matter how I look at it.
The thing is, I'm trying to stay optimistic. I dropped my sister off at her apartment just a bit ago, and as I was driving back to mine, Drag Me Down came on the radio. It's such a short drive that my favorite people coming on the radio (even if it's a single that's currently out) was such a small chance. I know it was nothing more than coincidence, but I took it as a sign to just stay calm, work but not enough to kill myself, and it'll be okay. I'm trying really hard to actually think that.
A part of me is tempted to stay up all night to work, but that will make things worse in the long run. Instead I'm probably going to bed really soon now only to wake up early (probably very early) tomorrow to start getting things done again. It's shocking how many things I have due Monday that sound daunting even though I've been working on them steadily for a week or more.
This semester is proving to be the most challenging of my life.